In brief: Born into a world of violence, Bee Lavender had to learn to fight. Her diagnosis of cancer at the age of twelve was merely an introduction to a life of massive assaults on her body. Her story is an amazing tale of survival, and an intelligent and insightful look into an aspect of life we all hope we won't have to experience.

In detail: Bee Lavender is a fighter. When a childhood game resulted in a boy ripping her earlobe, her mother's words were: "Next time, you have to hit back." Bee had to learn how to fightand then learn how to build a different kind of life.,

Growing up working-class in a small American town, Bee was mysteriously ill throughout her childhood before being diagnosed with cancer at age twelve. A series of harrowing surgeries revealed a rare genetic disorder, and a second type of cancer. Before her sixteenth birthday she had had over three hundred cancerous lesions removed from her torso. At seventeen, when the illness had abated, she was in a car accident that left her with multiple chronic injuries. Then a complicated teenage pregnancy led to the diagnosis of a serious auto-immune disorder. Her early relationships reflected the pathologies of her body.

Bee has learned to view her physical reality from a dispassionate distance. She can step away and look on her own body from afar. This has given her a unique view of the world, which she shares with us.

Her illnesses made her what none of us wants to be as a child: different. Forced to "prove" her strange illness to disbelieving teachers, Bee responded by yanking up her shirt to reveal fresh surgical wounds. Bullied at school, she formed alliances with other children who were similarly victimised. Bee's extreme exclusion gives us perspective on our own versions of not being "in".

In this elegantly written narrative Bee tells us of her life and her search for understanding. She never succumbs to her circumstances, not even with a gun at her temple. Instead of allowing her damaged body to control her existence, she learns to embrace the mantle of an outsider, and becomes fascinated by curiosity cabinets and circus sideshow culture. Refusing to be trapped by fate, she builds a new life and takes risks, like having friends, raising children and learning to sing. Bee has been where we all hope we won't have to go, and she has learnt many things. She shares these lessons with wit, humour, strength and wisdom.

For discussion

• "We were the strong ones, the victorious, and women were to be honoured for their ability to fight." Do you believe it is her background that has made Bee so strong? Or is it her illnesses? What does her book tell us?
• "The cabinet contains articles of proof . . . I achieved a desolate, mutable maturity too soon, and smothered inconvenient and unpleasant facts about my past with the obsessive acquisition of objects and a compulsive need to put everything in order." Is the book the ultimate thing to place in her cabinet, do you think? Are you a collector, and if you are, why?
• "Maybe my life could only be explained through the theory of maternal impression." Do you believe that Bee's mother's experiences can explain Bee's plight? Do you think that Bee believes it?
• "They had formed an autonomous subculture without having anything in common other than mutual dissatisfaction." Much to her mother's dismay, Bee embraces this subculture. Do you think that Bee truly feels a part of it, or is she an observer?
• "The doctors had often conveyed that my body was fascinating, that the disease was less a burden than a prize. The disjunction between their attitude and the taunting of my peers was difficult to sort out, so I didn't think about it." What view do you think Bee has now?
• "I had devoted a lot of effort to making us look like respectable middle-class people with careers, systematically choosing clothing and haircuts for everyone in the house, and this had proven more alienating than I could have anticipated. We looked like we didn't need help, and therefore did not receive it." Is this a phenomenon you have experienced? If you are capable of conforming, does that automatically mean you need no help?
• "What makes an activity an identity? I did not feel that the children, the career, or my dating habits defined me." Do you agree with Bee? What defines you?
• "It would be easier not to care about anyone." Do you think that Bee ever thinks this, or do the benefits always outweigh the negatives for her?
• "The real pathology at the center of my life was not cancer; it was the fact that I refused to let anyone see me as weak." Has Bee cut herself off with this attitude, or has it saved her?
• "I laughed out loud and jumped down from the exam table, a corner of my petticoat snagging, the layers ripping apart." Why do you think Bee ends her story like this?

Suggested further reading

Stuart: A Life Backwards by Alexander Masters
The Book of Dead Birds by Gayle Brandeis
Autobiography of a Face by Lucy Grealy
Lucky by Alice Sebold
Miracle in the Andes: 72 Days on the Mountain and My Long Trek Home by Nando Parrado